"Ice Man; Rebirth"

I'm Back

2008-05-29T15:47:00.003+08:00

Wow...its been a while. Last post was April 08...well now its 29 May 2008.
Been very busy with school...and finally got a job.
Lots of things happen along the weeks...as per normal. Times are hard now...but come on people , I believe that one day everything is going to be fine. Amin & Mimie...I wish you guys the best. Make sure U take care of Estee properly k.
For those of my friends who are persuing their dreams...remember nvr gif up. Life always steps on u every now and then...its all abt you getting up fast again and again and surviving wat life throws at you..
I will put up new post soon wif pictures I've taken...so stay in touch

Forgive me, Father.

2008-04-27T04:37:00.005+08:00

Ku jabat mesra tangan ayah,
Urat-urat daging tua keras terasa,
Mata ku tersenyum,
Matanya menyapa.
Anak yg pulang disambut mesra.
Tapi matanya,
Mata yg menyatap ku,
Kolam-kolam derita dan pudar bulan pagi,
Garis-garis putih lesu melingkuni hitam suram;
Suatu kelesuan yg tak pernah dipajarkan dulu.
Anak yg pulang disisi ayahnya,
Maka akulah yg merasakan kepedihan yg tercermin dimatanya.
Meski kain pelekatnya bersih dlm kesegaran hidup dan die tak pernah merasa sebab,
Derita itu adalah die...

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

2008-02-28T11:20:00.002+08:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Listen...

2008-02-23T15:46:00.002+08:00

The hearts aches again...
Have I not shown u how much I love you,
I know I dun belong in ur world....
Have I not shed tears of blood for you,
Have I not bled my soul for you...
How I wish God could allow you to hear the whispers in my heart...
telling u how much I love u.
Must I cry to tell you that I'm hurt?
Must I silence myself to please you?
Never had I forced you...
And never will I ever force you.
But a little dignity is all I asked from u.
When I hide myself doesn't mean I hate you...
I just need to heal myself.
Myself...only.
It's had always been that way...

To the woman I love,

2008-02-17T14:19:00.005+08:00

To the woman I love,

To set my eyes on you is one image I never want to erase.

To be certain you are the one i'm destined to be with in this life,

I have already been blessed.

To have thoughts of you in my heart and mind with each day that I wake,

everything I had ever asked from love, has been given.

To know the greatest joy in life already comes from the love you have given to me.

I have already lead the life somewere not blessed to.

To be in a world where love dwells among the hearts of the cynics,

To be in a world where love has grown harder to find and keep,

I've found you.

And to find such love in you, and discover and share it with you, I have found happiness.

To start a journey in life together, no matter how difficult it could be for us.

We will pull through whatever obstacles life may throw at us,

For at the end of it all we still will have each other.

Always know no actions or words can symbolize what I feel for you inside.

You have given me every reason to say that life can be beautiful.

And no woman has touched my life the way you have.

I'll forever embrace you in my heart with tenderness and care.

And always take care of the love and trust you have given to me.

Fullfill all promises we've vowed to each other.

For I would tell the world just how much I love you,

But then you already are the world to me.

I love you.

Princess...the gem that glows in my heart

2008-02-15T10:16:00.006+08:00

I did a little thinking...about her...the one I loved, Princess.
Its the small moments i had with u that makes me love u so much.
My coldness towards u doesn't mean that I dun luv u...
Yes called me heartless but its all for u.I wan u to be strong, stronger then me.

I wan u to able to stand on ur own 2 feet when I'm not longer around...

U mean so much to me...the reason to why I'm around today.

I'll bring wif me the moments we shared everybreath we took together...Because its the moments with u that makes my life worth walking thru.

Thank you.

Happy Birthday..."Thank you, my friends"

2008-02-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

Thank you so much for making 10/02/2008 the best day of my life.

Tears...yes I shed tears. It was the tears of joy...Thank you so much for all the efforts my friends...and not forgetting my beloved wifey. Ur presences is enough to complete this wonderful birthday. Sorry if I had miss out on anyone...no words can describe how touched I was. Thank you so much. To all my friends...no matter where or who u are. All of u plays an important piece of my life...without anyone of u...my life puzzle is incomplete.
Once again from the depth of my soul...thank you so much.

Especially my beloved Wifey, Khairin & bro, Wan, Imah& sis, Sazali, Grinch&gf, Hakim& gf, Ismail, Din&gf, Iswandi and all those who knows me...(sorry cant go on...if not It'll be forver)...Thank you.

Happy birthday Broken Wings.

What hurts the most..

2008-02-09T05:39:00.000+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
Tat dun bother me.
I can take a few tears now & then and just let them out.
I’m not afraid to cry everyonce in a while even though going on wif u gone still upsets me.
Tere are days everynow & again I pretend I’m ok.
But tat’s not wat gets me

Wat hurts the most...
Was being so close & and having so much to say & watching u walk away & never knowing
Wat cud haf been & not seeing that lovin' u,
Was wat I was tryin’ to do.
It’s hard to deal wif the pain of losing u everywhere I go.
But I’m doin’ It.
It’s hard to force tat smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone, Still Harder getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with tis regret.
But I know if I cud do it over,
I wud trade give away all the words tat I saved in my heart,

Tat I left unspoken...

Remember...

2008-02-05T09:23:00.001+08:00

She moved on...so must I.
I have to be honest, she was a great friend. She gave up too easily...never had faith in friendship...never had faith in me. She said I was too sensitive, always saying nasty things...but had she ever asked me why I behaved that way? What made me this way?
U taught me...never to show the weaker side of me...never to sit down when life is stepping on you. A reflection of myself...a stronger side. Never did I ever wanted to get involved in ur life...never will I. I have to accept the fact you no longer exist...I have to.
December 27, 2007...a post written for me. I will remember...always do. U are rite, time will heal everything....and time will make me forget about u...I hope. I have friends...I made mistakes but one thing for sure, I'll never make the same mistakes u did. I will never turn my back on my friends...no matter who they are...whether how thay make me feel "belonged" or not...thay are always my friends. I dun blame u for turning ur back on me...Now u have ur own world...so do I. I was grateful u came...Now I'm grateful that u leave...the doors is wide open for u...walk on ...nvr turn back.

It was all a lie...

2008-02-05T02:13:00.000+08:00

Now I understand...now I understand Y u wanted me to go away. The picture is so clear now......Well now I see the real truth. I dun noe wat to say..its over...no point in persuing u. Its plain over...It really hurts to know the truth. But then I had to know the truth..I was too curious. My heart aches..tears fell...speechless.
Dun walk away from me please...LET ME WALK AWAY FROM U!
Confused by my words? Well thats wat U've put me thru..but all that has ended.
Y must u lie to me...giving me all kinds of reasons to avoid me!!!
All this while..u had me in a world of fantasy...nothing real. U are not real!!!
Why must you lie...dun i at least deserved a little respect from u? Just a tiny one. I dun nid any comfort no more...U make me feel as if I was a bother to u.
Dun worry...I swear I'll never bother u.
Heed my words...HURT MY FRIENDS AND I'll KILL U...THIS I SWEAR!!!
Never show ur face in front of me!!! I HATE U!!! HATE U!!!
This is what u really want from me right?
Well I hope u're happy...
Thank you for all the false friendship you gave me.

Friends are Friends Forever

2008-02-04T00:27:00.000+08:00

A friend...used to be of close buddies, really missed her presences...She came without noone knowing and she left without anyone knowing too.Night after night she pretend of my never-existences...I tried to approached but it seems she just got further away. I was hurt... But tonight I had to accept the fact that I've lost a friend...a friend I will have difficulties forgetting about. What happen my friend...I tried to walk on but it seems that I'm just lying to myself. U just cut yourself away from my world. What have I done to received such a punishment?
If you really wanted to go away , you could at least said "goodbye".

My bdae is cuming up...my only wish is to see u tere...smiling and wishing me the bestest of birthdays!!
But thats just a wish I know I'll never get...

This one for you...my little angel

2008-01-10T10:10:00.000+08:00

Sun is creeping down behind the hill

Everything is calm & still

So baby close ur eyes & rest ur weary mind
Let me hold u close & sing u this lullaby
Let ur worries go & U'll fall asleep
Think of nothing more
Memories will keep, Ur dreams will turn to gold
And U'll wake and find
Then U'll hold a smile all day from this lullaby
Maybe somewhere in the silence, U'll wake and U're all alone
Just call and I'll be there
Even when I'm gone
Each day will end
So I'll say 'goodnight'
'Til we meet again
Now baby close ur eyes & rest ur weary mind
I'll let u know the joy u bring
Every time u hear me sing u this lullaby

Smiles

2008-01-04T12:29:00.000+08:00

My mind went blanked as the last few seconds of 2007 left me...into the darkness. Finally the year had passed...a new year awaits. Laughter of joys...celebrations everywhere....Friends, Families jumping with joy and in the corner, couples hugging as they glide into the night.
The night was filled with colours...didn't know that it could be so beautiful at night. The smiles on the faces of these troubled people...they were enjoying the moment...a moment so beautiful...As I turned around...a smiled squeezed thru my facial expression...Babygerl was bursting with laughter with the boys...and there "she" was with her loved one...as i gave her a warmth touch on her cheek i wished her a blissful new year....she smiled. A smile which I yearned to see on every faces of my friends.
As I turned my back and walked away...I knew someone is smiling at me...my other half which I never knew I had, my soulmate. The wind was blowing gently as i heard her voice...I smiled and whispered back my reply to the wind, " I love you too, baby."

Hold my hands...we'll walk thru this night as one.

Broken

2007-12-31T00:21:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...wat to write today. Same old question I keep asking myself everynight....over & over again. My life? Nahhhh...nothing interesting. Ok why not talk abt how I came up with this nick "Broken Wings".

Hmmm....where do i start??

That year is like a mountain peak in my life, for it awakened knowledge in me and made me understand the vicissitudes of mankind. In that year I was reborn and unless a person is born again his life will remain like a blank sheet in the book of existence. In that year, I saw the angels of heaven looking at me through the eyes of a beautiful woman. I also saw the devils of hell raging in the heart of an evil man. He who does not see the angels and devils in the beauty and malice of life will be far removed from knowledge, and his spirit will be empty of affection.

Yawnnnn

2007-12-17T03:04:00.000+08:00

Its been quite some times since this blog was last updated....

Well things happen....some happy....some sad & some tragical. Well...lets think abt friends..."Aren't friends suppose to stick to each other in times of needs?"

Some say YES....well for others its a NO.

I read a blog of a friend of mine....quite sad to see her in that state. Her workload....Studies...Bf problems. But this time I'm not going to do anything abt it. Imagine....a friendship so close...as if we have known for ages...but then all of a sudden she acts she doesn't know me at all.

Well if I did something wrong "YOU COULD AT LEAST TOLD ME!!!"

Dun worry, I'm not mad at you....just curious. What actually happen....you just flicked me away like a used toothpick. Where's the friendship? Did I do something soooo wrong that you had to keep a great distance from me?

Well...as a friend I must understand ur situation, right?....Standard Procedures. Well...now I know how much you treasure my friendship....so might as well i keep my distance from you too. Anyway....was nice knowing you. You make me realize how much friendship is worth....

Little one

2007-11-02T04:57:00.000+08:00

Little angel of mine....forgive me for all the sins I've done. For I have never meant to hurt u....But my hatred towards him is unbearable. I had promised you that I would always be there for u....bringing the smile you always wanted so much but why must he come into the picture. Do you really love him so much...Little angel of mine...dun fear changes...embrace them coz thru changes u will meet destiny. Destiny will guide you thru ur broken path...dun look back....for everysteps u take forward is every step I bring myself further. But that doesn't mean I'm not there. Have faith in me....I told my soulmate abt a secret.

" If you ever needed me....close your eyes & take a deep breath....Call out my name in your heart for I will heed in your times of need. Have faith in me."

Ur wings are broken like mine...dun pretend little one. Dun fear....Like i had promised.....My wings will surround you and provide you the warmth touch u've been needing so much even though I had to sacrifice my hatred...

How time flies...

2007-10-26T10:50:00.001+08:00

I am very lucky to been saying out the words now....for the month of Ramadan lots of things had happened. Although I was in an accident i was lucky only to hit the back of a car which cost me $4k worth of repair.
On that fatefully day too....My fate was nearly sealed under a malaysian Trailer...I was on my way to meet a "girlfriend" in Woodlands to help me check out the chalets....maybe i was tired...I managed to hit the brakes just in time...so near that half my car was already under the trailer...I really thank god for giving me the chance to redeem myself again...If i had not hit the brakes...my car would be a convertible car by now.....and that would also leave me with half my body missing...leaving only the lower parts as my remains....hehe.
Anyway...Hari Raya is nearing....I can already hear the Takbir...

Inconsolable

2007-09-21T02:35:00.000+08:00

I try to sleep
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling
If you were here right now,
I swear I'd tell you this...
Baby I don't wanna waste another day
Keeping it inside...it's killing me
Cause all I ever wanted comes right down to you.
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you, every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

Sometimes when I cry...No one knows.

2007-09-20T13:22:00.000+08:00

Do u really mean when u said u wanted to be my friend....
How i laid my faith in u without hesitation...
I trusted u...

I felt cheated sometimes...how much I've sacrificed for u but why do u turn your back on me in times of need. Maybe you're busy...maybe you're caught up with something...but why can't u be there for me like how I was there for u. I'm alone...I'm hurt...I need a helping hand. I needed someone to talk to...but u weren't there. U were there in times of laughters and smiles but where are u in times of tears?
I never mixed my friendship with love like how others had done before...My friendship was as pure as my first smile at u. All I see now is a long, dusty road with just my own shadow to accompany me along my unknown journey.
Thanks my friend...

U made me realized what friends are for.....

My Love...My death...

2007-09-19T12:36:00.000+08:00

Why do I feel this way??

2007-09-18T14:11:00.000+08:00

Lately I proved my beloved angel that she was wrong about something. She said that Nothing in this world could make her happy but then I proved her wrong...I proved to her sincerity and faith could bring that special smile in her which I longed to see.
Her teary eyes & her beautiful smile...it was an amazing feeling. I made her smile...a smile i longed to see. As i sat in the back drop....i saw her laughing....jumping with joy with those around her...they were so sincere. I could feel their sincerity. I never felt so satisfied in life....tears sailed down my face...Well its time to say goodbye. I have done my part now...I am leaving you with painful and also beautiful memories which u must cherish thru'out ur life. My chapter with you is over....I need to move on. But you will always remain somewhere special in my heart....somewhere i know you will always be.

For those reading these...I thank you all for making everything happen. You know who you are....Thank you

Another chapter

2007-09-10T09:44:00.001+08:00

I heard a silent prayer as he laid down his father to rest...."may we meet again, Father", he said as he turned around and continue his life journey.

How life can be confusing most of the times...Why is that Life begins with a tear and ends with a tear too?

Maybe this could be something you can ponder about...
But there's something about Love I would like to share with you....

My friends,

Love is something you cannot force. Love sincerely and one day your sincerity will be handsomely rewarded. Allow her to spread her wings and let her feel the sincere love you're showering her.

Have faith in your own love...if you can't then how can you say if that is love?

Wings of hope...

2007-08-29T20:08:00.002+08:00

My friend...dun be afraid to come to me.
Dun be fool by my appearance.
My heart bleeds for you...
When life ends...be brave to accept death.
Let death comes gracefully...
What makes Death beautiful are the moments you shared in life.
The smiles...the tears and the laughters.
You had shared the most beautiful moments in life...
And you have to learn to gracefully let it go.

I know its painful...
but then no one ever promised you immortality.

See these broken wings of mine...bleeding,

how much pain I had seen in this wicked world.
I offer you my wings...
I may not be able to fly you to the clear blue sky
But I promise you,
My wings will shield you from the sharp debris of life,
My soft and warm feathers will give you warm ...
Come under my wings my friend....my wings of hope.

Be strong my friend....

2007-08-28T23:04:00.000+08:00

Hey Daddy,
Don't forget to tell me you love me
Don't be too embarrassed to grab me and hug me
If it makes you feel better, go ahead and slug me
No matter how much you bug me
Just know that I enjoy your company
Laughing when you make fun of me
Remind me to give you a hug goodnight
I never want you to feel
Like I'm leaving you out to dry
Don't be afraid to grab my hand
Just because it doesn't feel right
I never wanna regret
Not doing it later on in life

Hey Daddy,
Please hang on to me
I'm growing up way too fast
Too much of the future
Not enough of the present day or past
Please don't let me go
I want these years to last
I just wish I could let you know
How much I don't want you to leave
How much I appreciate your company

I promise I tried to hold back the tears
But I couldn't, I cried, it hurt so bad
I could've died, it made me so mad
To know that I couldn't stop you from leaving
Now the whole family is grieving
But no one is as hurt as I am
I lost my best friend when you left
I lost my Buddy, my Brother, my Friend

Hey Daddy,
I can't write any more
The tears are falling and the ink is fading
I haven't really been myself lately

Hey Daddy,
I just couldn't hold back
Please just this once...Dad
Please Come Back...

By Broken Wings

One day we will fly

2007-08-23T03:10:00.001+08:00

Lately...I felt a warm sensation...yes its happening again. (No...not that feeling)
What I mean is the feeling of falling in love. I can't explain this feeling thats in me...Its so beautiful. It makes you feel so light...as though you could fly. You are so excited...to hear that beautiful voice on the other line every time you pick up your phone. To wake up to see those beautiful eyes gazing into yours...her smooth & gentle hands run down your face...waking up every single cells in your body.
But then...reality struck me hard in the face.
Fear, Pain & Tears!!!
No!!!no.... Every night, tossing around trying not to close my eyes for the fear of realizing its was just a dream.
Please god...I begged you. Just this once, if its a dream please let me drift in my dreams forever...Never in my life I felt so complete...so loved. My wings could be broken but this angel of mine held my hand and pulled me up. As I got up the angel whispered into my ears..."Dun be afraid "Broken Wings", for I will always hold your hand to accompany you thru' out your unknown journey...This I promise you. For once I felt secured. As we walked, making small & fragile steps towards the sunset, I turned around and gazed at her...Deep in me I kept telling myself that this time whatever life has in store for me...I know for sure I'm never alone. I might not be able to fly but I dun mind taking a few steps at a time knowing that she's always there with me thru out my journey...One day we will fly.

Everybody'z fool

2007-08-20T17:40:00.000+08:00

Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need more lies about a world that never was and never will be
Have you no shame?
Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled...

Look !!!
Here she comes now,
bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you,
No flaws when you're pretending
but now i know she never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

Without the mask where will you hide?
Can't find yourself lost in your own lie ?

I know the truth now
I know who you are
and i don't love you anymore...

It never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
somehow now You're everybody's fool

Immortality

2007-08-14T15:23:00.001+08:00

A beautiful angel approached me that night..as I look into her eyes I can see her pain...how much she is struggling to be strong. I've the utmost respect for her...a broken angel so alone in this world. I felt her pain.

Tears rolling down her smooth face...How could I let this angel cry...Oh how much i would like to hold her in my arms and comfort her like how a father is there for their children. She was special to me...
She wanted so much to give up...
Dun give up little one...I maybe gone one day but be sure my presences will always linger around you...comforting you at times of need.
How I could give her the answer to all her questions...I was lost like her...in the wilderness of the world not knowing what to do. Unlike me I've nobody to turn to...but not you little one.
I am here...I give you my word.
Little one please dun cry...how every tears which is cried upon is how much it bleeds in my heart.
Be strong...he has to go one day. Let him go gracefully...Let him see that you have moved on. Let him see that same smile on your face which he used to see. He was a great man, a great friend and he will be always be...Its time to say Goodbye.

I once heard an old man said..

" God created us to feel Love, Pain and Satisfaction...thats why we are special. That differentiate us and all the things in the universe. Life is like the ocean...so never-ending. There are lots of things to explore.

So let us take one small step at a time and let this

hand which is offered to you guide you along the journey."

As the wind blew against my face...a tear roll

2007-08-10T12:37:00.000+08:00

Ever hear the wind whispering into your ears??

The wind brings u the stories of all the tears that people which had bled tears for u...The cries of loneliness...
But what could I do. I am helpless...I used to bring the smiles into people's life but I don't seem to do it anymore...instead I'm bringing them tears...made them feel the coldness of my heart.
I'm crying...my heart is bleeding. Nobody knows it..
The phrase "So close yet so far"...sounds familiar?
I love her but I cannot make myself to get close to her....she deserves someone else better. But the pain of letting her go is killing me...
I'm lost in my own world...drowning in my own tears.

Hi there...

2007-08-08T05:00:00.000+08:00

Hi there,
to those who knows me thanks for reading and for those who are new welcome to my life.
Why the name Broken Wings???
How I wish to feel the wind blowing against my face...and to open my eyes to see a never-ending stretch of blue sea.
Oh how i wish to be free of all the problems in life and roam the world in search of happiness.
Am I unhappy?? NO!
Am I happy?? NO!
What am I feeling...That i never know.
But one thing for sure is to experience that one moment...that split second to see her smile, to see them smile and to see people around me smile....That is something I would sacrifice for.
Am I crazy??
Maybe I am...I'm confused.
Happiness...hmmm.
What is that? Smiles...laughter...tears...Somebody please...i wan to feel love.
I wan to feel that special love in life which can make me fly...free me of all my darkness moments.
Well...close your eyes....relax...............Now open your eyes....

WELCOME BACK TO REALITY!!!!!!!!!

My very own...

2007-07-21T18:22:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone...
finally my very own space.

Hows life...i ask myself. Well its quite cold and lonely here.

Where is everybody??? Where is she?

Oh how i wish i....Smiles and smiles....happy all day long !!! Sunshine and rainbows is all they can see in me....
But does anyone stop for a while and ask hows the real weather in here...here in the most deepest part of my heart ???

I am still human...i need love and attention please.
I am no angel...my wings are broken.
Help me....

"Ice Man; Rebirth"

I'm Back

Forgive me, Father.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Listen...

To the woman I love,

Princess...the gem that glows in my heart

Happy Birthday..."Thank you, my friends"

What hurts the most..

Remember...

It was all a lie...

Friends are Friends Forever

This one for you...my little angel

Smiles

Broken

*Yawnnnn*

Little one

How time flies...

Inconsolable

Sometimes when I cry...No one knows.

My Love...My death...

Why do I feel this way??

Another chapter

Wings of hope...

Be strong my friend....

One day we will fly

Everybody'z fool

Immortality

As the wind blew against my face...a tear roll

Hi there...

My very own...

Yawnnnn